Is he changing his mind?

Tonight Tommy & I went out to dinner. We were talking about getting pregnant and he asked about my work and if I get paid and how much time I'd have off. I told him that I will have to use any vacation time that I have (which isn't a lot), but could probably get it up to 1.5 to 2 weeks. And also that I have 12 weeks that is protected. Other than that it would be 2 months that would not be paid. But if I had to I'd go back to work at 6 weeks :o( and hopefully he could take a week or two off.

This conversation turned a light bulb on for him. He says "Maybe we should've thought about all that before we started trying". I said, holding the tears back, "I did! Maybe YOU should have thought about it!" The thing is that we've had all these types of conversations about daycare & space in our house, diapers again, baby stuff we no longer have because we swore we were done. It's going to be an added expense, but we can make it work. We always have and people in general always do. It was just heart breaking that here we are in the middle of trying & he's throwing out these doubts again!

For years we've been back & forth with the idea of having another baby. We've gotten to a place in our lives where now seems to be the time to do it. And I've gotten excited about the thought of being pregnant again. Okay, not really, I'm not a happy pregnant woman (it's so uncomfortable). But the miracle of it all. Me carrying a child, nurturing it until it can survive on it's own, and then holding it in my arms. I'm excited that this could be a possibility again. He could tell how much it hurt to even talk about NOT trying anymore. So I guess we're back to trying again. We kind of just dropped the conversation. I'm guessing it'll come up soon (like tomorrow).